As a well respected member of the press, profoundly enamored journalist, and transcendental film critic, I often find myself face to face with quite the conundrum. This quandary, fueled by my mensa level intelligence is that far too often I find myself jaded in the presence of art. Even the most astounding creations are often drowned beneath my acute attention to detail and overt criticism leaving me with distain for even the most commonly accepted forms of entertainment. It is a dilemma I boldly face everyday in hopes that on a rare occasion, the clouds will peel back and allow the brilliant sunlight of an artistic masterpiece to enter my world. Tonight, I felt the warmth of such a magnificent creation. This virtuosity will be known throughout history as “The Tooth Fairy”.

As I look back upon my plentiful life, I recall significant life altering moments along the way: the first time I heard The Beatles, the first time I saw Star Wars, the first time I made love to a VERY drunk, VERY confused Margaret Westbrook next to a dumpster at a Golden Corral. Sadly, these three experiences combined can hardly combat the plethora of emotions that overwhelmed me upon viewing The Tooth Fairy. Remember the first time you found out that George Michael was a gay and although scared and confused you just felt as if everything in the world was perfectly clear and exactly how it should be, at least for the moment? That’s exactly how I felt upon leaving the theater after viewing The Tooth Fairy.

I was extremely hesitant that I would have a pleasurable movie experience being that the entire theater was filled with small children. Seeing how I haven’t been in a surrounding like that since the judge ordered me to speak to all those kindergarten classes in 2002 because of what we will simply describe as “the incident”, I was extremely petrified by my situation. Lucky for me, Michael Lembeck, the director, beautifully creates a world that instantaneously captivates you allowing you to focus on nothing other than your heart racing and tears gracing your cheeks at all times.

The script/prophecy, masterfully written by Jim Piddock is one that I’m not shy to easily place at legendary status. I would happily place this script next to any works by Shakespeare, Dickens, or the guy who wrote Superman IV: The Quest for Peace as one that defines a generation and echoes throughout history for years to come. Not giving too much away, Dwayne “don’t call me The Rock because I want to be taken seriously as an actor but who can be taken serious with a name like Dwayne” Johnson starts out as a bad guy who make bad choices but after a shocking and hilarious stint as The Tooth Fairy realizes the era of his ways and becomes a good person. Not since The Lion King 2: Simbas pride, special edition Disney dvd have I been more blown away by a rollercoaster story like I was with The Tooth Fairy. The juxtaposition of the hardcore action star placed into the character of a magic wand wielding, tutu wearing fairy is a concept that is profoundly daring and unvisited. The idea itself nears a level of insanity only matched by outlandish ideas such as: Dippin’ Dots, the Taco Bell diet, and suffrage. I’m confident that The Tooth Fairy will be the blueprint by which all media is produced in the next century.

The great directors of our time: Scorsese, Spielberg, Boll, need to take a step back and truly examine the greatness that is The Tooth Fairy because the bar has been set extremely high and cinema as we know it will forever be shaped by this film. GO SEE THIS MOVIE!! I know we’re in a recession, but if necessary, steal money from your senile grandma who is way too out of it to notice the situation that is taking place in order to go see The Tooth Fairy. If you don’t, you’ll regret it more than Vin Diesel regrets every movie roll he’s ever taken in his life.